From the wacky and zany to the boring and brainy, today I present the 12 Days of the Tackiest Christmas Gifts. You know what I’m talking about—the gift that we just hate to receive. But as gracious recipients, we try to apply our best fake smile and say “thanks” to gifts like these:
12. Anything “regifted,” although a talented regifter can cover his secret.
11. The Carpenter’s Christmas Album—Yes, it was nice in the 70’s and early 80’s. But now it’s just plain cheesy.
10. Anything domesticated (small appliances) – Husbands should already know this by now. A blender will offend her.
9. Neckties—especially if they are Christmas ties.
Hanukkah Harry from SNL
8. Socks—If you ever have seen Hanukkah Harry from Saturday Night Live, giving socks is not cool.
7. Anything Plaid or with Argyles—No offense to Andy Bernard from “The Office.”
6. Fuzzy Dice—to hang from the rearview mirror on my 68 Mustang.
5. McDonald’s Gift Certificates—what’s up with these? The food is crappy, but the shakes are OK.
4. Fruit cake—I don’t care how much the English love their Fruit cake. Over here, stateside, it’s hard to find a good one.
3. The Pocket Fisherman—Thank you, Ronco!
Andy Bernard from "The Office"
2. The Clapper—I’m not sure what’s worse, the jingle or the gift! But the jingle is a Brainworm™.
1. The Chia Pet—the pottery that grows seems to reappear every year about this time. Are these guys still in business?
Brainworms and The Buzz™ 