Is Today Three French Hens or Two Turtle Doves?

Three French Hens

I sparked a fun discussion when I entered in the office this morning. The main lobby to our building is connected to the Administration Department, with about four or five people sitting at their desks. As usual, I said my typical “good morning” greeting, but added this question:

“Is today ‘Three French Hens’ or ‘Two Turtle Doves?’ ”

And so the fun dialogue began centered on this precept: Is a “Partridge in a Pear Tree” supposed to be delivered on Christmas Day or Christmas Eve?

I am proud to say that my fine colleagues concluded that the partridge will be delivered on Christmas Day. This means that today, December 23^rd, is “Three French Hens.” …Toot, to, to, Toooh…” (the sounding of majestic French Horns. Probably three of them.)

On a side note—does anyone remember the Bob and Doug Mckenzie “Twelve Days of Christmas” song parody from the 80’s? If so, today is “Three French Toast.” My kids, both in high school, were singing this song yesterday. Talk about “Flash Back to the 80’s!”

Bob and Doug Mckenzie

(Although, my good friend Jeremiah McBride, considers today to be “Ten Lords a-Leaping.” I guess that he is counting up and I am counting down. )

Merry Christmas!

 

12 Days of the Best Christmas TV Shows

Christmas TV specials make an excellent family tradition. Growing up, I remember watching shows like “Rudolph,” “Frosty,” and the “Grinch”—the original episodes, not the remakes. These timeless classics were fun and innocent. Most of the specials on this list were created before the invention of DVDs, the Internet and 100+ cable channels. Only two shows on this list were made in the past thirty years. Unfortunately, newer Christmas TV shows have lost the charm of the TV shows of old.

Here, I present the 12 Best Christmas TV Shows:

12. Olive, The Other Reindeer – The title of this 1999 show, starring Drew Barrymore, comes from a common misheard song lyric, called a Mondegreen.

11. A Christmas Carol (1984 w/ George C Scott)

10. Claymation Christmas Celebration – This 1988 special features the California Raisins singing “Rudolph” and other songs.

9. Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol

8. Rudolph’s Shiny New Year (1976 – Rankin-Bass) – A Rudolph spinoff.

7. The Muppet Christmas Carol

6. The Little Drummer Boy (1968 – Rankin-Bass)

Heat Miser

5. The Year without a Santa Claus (1974 – Rankin Bass) – Arguably the best of the Rudolph spinoff featuring Heat Miser and Cold Miser, who create the summers and winters, are the sons of Mother Nature. I love the song, “I’m Mister Heat Miser, I’m Mister Sun…”

4. Frosty the Snowman (1969 – Rankin-Bass)

3. A Charlie Brown Christmas – This could easily be in the first or second spot. That poor little tree is certainly endearing.

The Grinch

2. How the Grinch Stole Christmas – The Who Pudding, the Who Roast Beast, Little Cindy Lou Who, and Max the dog are adorable.

1. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964 -Rankin-Bass) – This timeless classic takes the top spot due to its creative plot, numerous classic songs, a memorable cast of characters. Rudolph and his band of misfit toys save Christmas.

Rudolph

 

12 Days of Favorite Homemade Christmas Desserts

Every Christmas feast deserves the splendor of a decadent dessert. With the help of some of my Facebook friends (listed below in parentheses) I have compiled a list of the best Holiday desserts in this 12 Days of Christmas blog. I present to you The 12 Days of Favorite Homemade Christmas Desserts:

12. Pumpkin pie (Virginia Putnam)

11. Peanut butter balls/Buckeyes  (Janelle Weeden)

10. Rum cake (Sharon Langford)

9. Pecan pie with bourbon (Tim Gouge)

8. Chocolate-Raspberry French Torte with Whipped Cream (Shawn Drawver)

7. Puppy Chow (Chex cereal coated in melted chocolate and coated with confectioners’ sugar. Served in a doggy bowl completes the scene.) (John Weeden)

6. Dirt cake (chocolate mousse with crushed Oreos served in a flower pot. Add a silk plant and gummy worms for added effect). (John Weeden)

5. Lincoln Log (Joyce Green)

4. Pecan Sandies

3. Chocolate-Peppermint Ornament Cupcakes (John Weeden, Jr.)

2. Peppermint Chocolate Cake

1. Figgy Pudding – “O bring me some figgy pudding…”

So there you have it! If you need a recipe, a Google search should net you some good one to choose. Merry Christmas!

 

12 Days of the Tackiest Christmas Gifts

From the wacky and zany to the boring and brainy, today I present the 12 Days of the Tackiest Christmas Gifts. You know what I’m talking about—the gift that we just hate to receive. But as gracious recipients, we try to apply our best fake smile and say “thanks” to gifts like these:

12. Anything “regifted,” although a talented regifter can cover his secret.

11. The Carpenter’s Christmas Album—Yes, it was nice in the 70’s and early 80’s. But now it’s just plain cheesy.

10. Anything domesticated (small appliances) – Husbands should already know this by now. A blender will offend her.

9. Neckties—especially if they are Christmas ties.

Hanukkah Harry from SNL

8. Socks—If you ever have seen Hanukkah Harry from Saturday Night Live, giving socks is not cool.

7. Anything Plaid or with Argyles—No offense to Andy Bernard from “The Office.”

6. Fuzzy Dice—to hang from the rearview mirror on my 68 Mustang.

5. McDonald’s Gift Certificates—what’s up with these? The food is crappy, but the shakes are OK.

4. Fruit cake—I don’t care how much the English love their Fruit cake. Over here, stateside, it’s hard to find a good one.

3. The Pocket Fisherman—Thank you, Ronco!

Andy Bernard from "The Office"

2. The Clapper—I’m not sure what’s worse, the jingle or the gift! But the jingle is a Brainworm™.

1. The Chia Pet—the pottery that grows seems to reappear every year about this time. Are these guys still in business?

 

Holidays Abound (A Holiday Haiku)

-by John Weeden

Holidays abound
with jolly songs and laughter,
mistletoe and fir.

In banquets we join,
to regale in gourmet fare
and toast in splendor.

With a joyful sound
we celebrate together
with sincerity.

We acclaim our love
to special ones around us
and those we have lost.

Longing to hold fast
to the many ways we’re blessed,
we will remember.

Thanks we give to you
whilst expressing our esteem
gratitude resounds.

©2009 John Weeden

 

12 Days of Memorable Christmas Movie Lines

In the spirit of the 12 Days of Christmas,” today’s article will list 12 memorable Christmas movie lines. From the quotes below, see if you can guess the names of these movies. The answers are placed at the bottom.

1. Buddy the Elf… what’s your favorite color? (This one should be easy)
2. Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.
3. The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.
4. I TRIPLE-dog-dare ya!
5. We’ve been given our parts in the Nativity play. And I’m the lobster.
6. God bless us all, everyone.
7. Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?
8. She looks like my third grade teacher, and I hated my third grade teacher… wait a minute, she IS my third grade teacher!
9. I’m as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth.
10. Bee sting. Evidently I’m allergic. It almost killed me. But, the guy at the Emergency Room said that eventually the swelling will go down. I hope.
11. You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.
12. I’m the worst toy-maker in the world. I’m a Cotton-Headed Ninnymuggins!

Answers:

1–Elf; 2–It’s a Wonderful Life; 3–Elf; 4–A Christmas Story; 5–Love, Actually; 6–A Christmas Carol; 7–Home Alone 8–Sleepless in Seattle; 9–Miracle on 34^th Street; 10–The Santa Clause; 11–It’s a Wonderful Life; 12–Elf

How did you score?

1-5 Correct: Time to go to Blockbuster and check out some of the best Christmas movies.

6-8 Correct: You probably hadn’t seen Elf, yet. Pour yourself a cup of the World’s Best Coffee and watch Will Ferrell deliver dozens of memorable lines. (This movie will probably be Ferrell’s most famous movie 50 years from now. Also, the World’s Best Cup of Coffee is referenced twice in the movie.)

9-10 Correct: You are a Christmas movie buff! You deserve a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows while you’re watching another movie tonight.

11-12 Correct: You should work with Roger Ebert! Two thumbs up for you!

Merry Christmas!

 

12 Days of Christmas Songs

Christmas music is one of the most fundamental elements of a joyful season. Without music the celebrations would be tame and our spirits dim, not bright. Joined with colorful lights, decorations, and other holiday lore, music can bring out the best in us—memories, charity, and joy.

Since Christmas music can be very personal and different for everyone, this is probably the most subjective list you’ll ever see. Out of hundreds of artists and thousands of variations of classic Christmas songs and carols, these songs speak differently to everyone.

The 12 Best Days of Christmas Songs are:

12. It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year – This is a very good song beginning with the title. It states the entire emotion and feeling of the piece with a positive and dramatic eloquence. The melody line has such a recognizable hook that can be played on practically any instrument—even a sitar. This most wonderful song secures it’s place in history.

11. Walking in a Winter Wonderland, by Eurythmics – Annie Lennox’s soulful voice is captured beautifully in this timeless classic. Originally written in 1934, this song was been covered by more than 20 different recording artists. This version by Eurthymics strays away from the predictable.

10. Last Christmas, by Wham! – This George Michael love-lost Christmas song is an 80’s Pop sensation. The allure of the stereotypical 80’s sound is fully ensconced in synths and electric drums.

9. Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow – This truly delightful song has one of the peppiest melody hooks with a very recognizable lyric. This Brainworm™ is truly timeless, regardless of who sings it.

8. White Christmas – Truly a beautiful song—even for this life-long Floridian. That’s right, I hate the cold. However, a cool, crisp and cloudy day can get me into a Holiday mood.  What I like the most about this serenade, it is centered beautiful Holiday imagery and tradition.

7. The Christmas Song – This Nat King Cole classic is a true Holiday favorite.

6. Jingle Bells – “O what fun is to ride in a one horse soapin’ sleigh. Hey!”

5. The Little Drummer Boy by Jars of Clay – By far, the best rendition to this long-time classic. Very refreshing.

4. Mary Did You Know? – This beautiful song about Mary is laced with deep questions like “Mary did you know that your baby boy, will one day walk on water?” You can view the rest of the lyrics, written by Mark Lowry, here.

3. The First Noel – It’s easy to envision the original Nativity Scene in Year One, AD with this melodic masterpiece. One of the most captivating elements of the song is the fact that the melody ends on the third note of the scale—giving it flow and continuity into the following verses.

2. Silent Night by Special EFX (GRP Christmas) – Silent Night is by far, one of the best Christmas songs ever. The GRP Christmas Compilation Album features my favorite version of this hymn by the Jazz band, Special EFX.

1. O Holy Night – This 1894 Christmas carol is famous for its flowing melody, beautiful lyrics and climatic finish, perfect for a dramatic public performance. The combination of beauty, grace and power personifies the humbleness of a baby born in a manger with the supremacy of a Savior and King.

O Holy Night

O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,

It is the night of Our dear Saviour’s birth.

Long lay the world In sin and error pining,

‘Til He appear’d And the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope The weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks A new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees! O, hear the angels’ voices!

O night divine, O night when Christ was born;

O night divine, O night, O night Divine.

(Special thanks to Michael Van Gelder, Cheryl Letner, Jennifer Moore, Lee Elliot, Sharon Langford, Laurie Heibert, Nancy Rees, Mike Lilley, Dawn Harris and Nancy Wilkins for their suggestions.)

Tomorrow’s blog for “The 12 Days of Brainworms™” is the “12 Days of Memorable Movie Lines.” Please feel free to send me your favorite movie lines via Twitter >> http://Twitter.com/JohnWeeden.

Thinking of You.

 

The 12 Days of Christmas Movies

If you’re a movie buff and are looking for the adventure of watching a different Christmas movie during the 12 Days of Christmas, then this is the list for you! In the spirit of the 12 Days of Christmas you can set your TiVO with a smile with my personal Holiday favorites. Earlier today I solicited help from some of my friends and followers on Facebook and Twitter. (Many of their suggestions ranked near the top of the list. Their names are shown in parentheses.)

With the advent of streaming Internet movies (get it, “advent”?), chances are you can find these movies on Hulu or Netflix. Or if you’re old school, you can pick up these movies from the local Blockbuster store (provided that one still exists in your neighborhood.)

So go ahead and check them out. “Yule” be glad you did.

12. A Christmas Story – Many people love this movie, but it only ranks number 12 on my list. The movie moves a little slow, but the tongue-stuck-on-the-light-pole-gag assures its place on the list. (A Diane Kendrick Frost, Chrissi Jasso favorite.)

11. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation – Squirrel in the Christmas Tree; need I say more? This will add some Jolly to your Holly! (@Glenn_Paules favorite.)

10. Love, Actually – I must have a weakness for romantic comedies. Not only is this a good romantic comedy, there are seven different plots of people falling in love , people reaffirming love, people dealing with love lost. Keep in mind that this movie is not kid friendly. This movie could have the potential to advance a few notches, but is held at the number 10 spot due to the foul language and nudity.

9. Scrooged – This Bill Murray Ebenezer classic will give you lots of laughs. (A Joe Moore favorite.)

8. Shop Around the Corner – This classic is centered around a secret pen-pal relationship between Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullavan. Fifty-eight years later, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan reprise the roles in the 1998 adaptation You’ve Got Mail. (A Janelle Weeden favorite.)

7. While You Were Sleeping – Centered around a misunderstanding, this romantic comedy is about love, family and amnesia, starring Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman.

6. Home Alone – You gotta love a precocious kid inflicting bodily harm onto Joe Pesci’s character in this modern slapstick classic. Thanks, John Hughes (1950-2009), for the memories. (A Jaime Selvin favorite.)

5. Sleepless in Seattle – “Harses, harses, harses…”; “…and now we’ll sing ‘Jingle Bells’ backwards.” If you’ve seen it, you’ll know to what I am referring.

4. Die Hard – The best Christmas action movie ever. Not only did my college roommates Tim, Anthony and I love this flick, so did Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani from the TV show, Friends.

3. Miracle on 34^th Street – The performances by Natalie Wood and Edmund Gwenn achieve immortality. Shucks, the bubble gum in Kris’s beard makes me squeamish. (A Diane Kendrick Frost, Betty Mason, Sharon Langford favorite.)

2. It’s a Wonderful Life – As a Science Fiction junkie, I’ve always loved alternative time lines. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I think that “Wonderful” is such a great movie. And it’s charming. (A Jaime Selvin, Joe Burglin, Shawn Drawver, Sharon Landford, Winnie Ashwood favorite.)

1. Elf – by far, the best Christmas movie of the decade and one of the best during the past 30 years. With dozens of funny lines—and quotes like, “Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”—one can only laugh at Buddy’s sweet innocence. (A Jaime Selvin, Melena Lambrides, Chrissi Jasso favorite.)

White Christmas – Honorable mention. Although I have never seen this movie, I can’t put it on the official  list—yet. This is a must-see movie for my family and me this season. (A Jaime Selvin, Perry & Jeannie Watson favorite.)

What’s your favorite Christmas song? My next blog will be the 12 Days of Christmas Songs, where I will be featuring the best of the best. Tell me your favorite on http://facebook.com/johnweeden or http://twitter.com/johnweeden.

 

The 12 Days of Brainworms™

We are now in the midst of the Christmas season and many people are busy with shopping, family obligations, Christmas-related events, company parties, and many more activities that are too numerous to list. With the busyness that comes with Holiday preparations, everyone seems to always find a little time for a little Christmas tradition.  Whether it’s watching a favorite Christmas movie like It’s a Wonderful Life, or a song by Bing Crosby, these are the traditions that help define us and meet our expectations for a splendid holiday!

Over the next 12 days, I will be featuring different lists in the spirit of the 12 Days of Christmas. Who knows, I may even solicit your help via Twitter to get your suggestions. Who knows, your suggestions may even make these Top 12 lists. Nevertheless, it will be a fun little distraction to reminisce away on the things that help make our season bright.

For starters, I have compiled a list of the 12 Days of Brainworms™. So what is a Brainworm™? A Brainworm™ is a virtual parasite that viral in nature. It starts off small like a tune you can’t get out of your head and has the potential to be an international sensation.

Here are the 12 Days of Brainworms™, as determined by the Brainworm Institute™:

1. Jill and Kevin’s Wedding Dance Video – An internet sensation. Jill and Kevin Heinz threw away the traditional Wedding March by dancing up the aisle to Chris Brown’s Pop hit, “Forever.” This phenomenon has produced more than 33 million hits in its first six months on YouTube. Jill and Kevin are using the fame of the video to garner donations to help stop domestic violence (I wonder if it’s any coincidence that all of this occurred about the same time that Chris Brown beat up his girlfriend, Rihanna.)  On NBC’s sitcom, The Office, homage was paid to this video for Jim and Pam’s wedding. Although the stunt on The Office was great for “must see TV,” it pales in comparison to emotional and sensational charm of the original. I guess that imitation is the greatest form of flattery.
2. Chocolate Rain – Tay Zonday’s Internet music video, “Chocolate Rain,” is another YouTube sensation. Although it did not reach the level of fame as Jill and Kevin’s Wedding Dance Video, it still boasts more than 45 million hits during the past two years. It also spawned copy-cat videos, like Chad Vader.
3. Baby Cory dancing to Beyonce – Everyone loves babies! Perhaps we’ll see him on “So You Think You Can Dance” in about a dozen years or so.
4. The “Wassup” Bud Light guys – Marketing Genius! This cult advertising hit of 1999 drew millions of football loving beer drinkers to say “Wassup….” While sticking out their toungues. It definitely broke through the clutter.
5. “Where’s the beef?” – The sweet, but ornery, Clara Peller became an accidental star in 1984 with the mega-hot TV commercial for Wendy’s. Today, the phrase can be used to question the validity of questionable ideas.
6. “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” – This low budget advertising surely got its bang for the buck in 1989. Although the hokey acting delivered this darling catch-phrase to the late night comedians and younger Americans, not many seniors actually bought the LifeCall product resulting in the company’s demise in 1990.
7. “The Macarena” – Crowned as VH1’s Greatest One Hit Wonder of All Time. Infectious, to say the least.
8. “Who Let the Dogs Out?”- This song actually annoyed me for a couple of years. I guess when the song appeared on “Men In Black II” did I sway to accept this song as a Brainworm™.
9. “Wardrobe Malfunction” the new vernacular born from that infamous Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson Super Bowl Halftime Show that resulted in not only a wardrobe malfunction, it was the most rewound/replayed TiVo segment up to that point in history.
10. “She Bangs” as interpreted by William Hung. Thanks American Idol for this train wreck. We just can’t help to watch. Of course, we’re tired of it now. I wonder what sensations we’ll see this next January. With Paula Abdul leaving the show, we’ll certainly need some entertainment.
11. “That’s what she said” from “The Office” probably won’t stand the test of time, but has permeated into everyday conversation in 2009.
12. That trampoline music video by OK Go! singing “Here It Goes Again.” – I just love a good idea. This splendid music video is a breath of fresh air in a decade of boring videos. Young musicians, promoting exercise and fitness; it’s a Big Brainworm™!

So, that’s it for today’s installment of “The 12 Days of Brainworms™.” The next blog I’m developing is the 12 Days of the Best Christmas movies. Tweet me with the name of your favorite Christmas movie at http://twitter.com/johnweeden. Chances are pretty good that I’ll use your suggestion!

Thinking of You!